christmas.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

it’s christmas.

i’m completely alone.

it’s ok, i’d rather be alone. i feel mostly like shit, and i’d just be a buzz kill to be around.

and around the corner is new years.

i’m just dreading hearing, “i hope this new year is going to be better for you.” or “i know that things are going to be better in the new year”

i know that things are not going to get any better. i don’t want to hear any platitudes from anyone that things will be different. it’s insulting. nothing will be different, nothing is going to get better. it’s just going to be more of the same. the same struggle, the same self hate, the same miserable existence.

i don’t even know what i’m typing about anymore, i can’t concentrate. work today was a freakish nightmare and i am exhausted.