reality.

Sunday, February 01, 2009

the reality is, i am selfish and self absorbed.

i don’t know how to not be that way, all i know is that i am in pain. psychic pain and physical pain.

sandra is trying to help me, but for whatever reason, i don’t seem to be able to let her.

i think of my friend v’s mantra, “remission or release”... and all i can take from that is a desperate plea for release. begging for it, a beseeching whimper to just let go, permission to die.

i’m pathetic and this is a tired sorry story that no one wants to hear anymore.

i just need to go.